RELATIONSHIPS
Use the questions and example responses below as a guide to reflect on your relationships with children (questions 1-7), their families (questions 8-20) and your coworkers (questions 20-25). Consider the degree to which you do the following, and where improvements can be made in how to support children’s gender development.
You’re welcome to use the text areas to type your reflections. Pressing ‘share with us’ means that you are giving us permission to use your examples in future versions of the audit tool, in workshops, etc.
CHILDREN
1. Do I treat children with care and respect? Do I pay attention to what children do and say, and value their contributions to the classroom?
Example
2. Do I allow children to explore genders beyond the gender binary, rather than insisting on all children being a boy or a girl?
Example
Infant example
3. Do I affirm children's gender expressions (the ways in which children externally communicate their gender identity to others through behavior, clothing, hairstyle, voice, etc.) and identities (the gender that children feel themselves to be), without drawing undue attention to choices, expressions and identities that cross social norms?
Example
4. Do I approach children as equal partners in co-creating a culture of gender creativeness and exploration?
Example
5. Do I believe that children are the experts on their own gender and experiences and respond to children accordingly? Do I trust in what children are sharing about themselves today, even if what they said yesterday was different?
Example
6. Do I allow children to set the pace on if/when they want to share their gender identity with others? Do I never "out" a child without their explicit consent and having dialogue with the family?
Example
7. Do I notice how I am treating children differently based on gender? Do I make sure I actively contradict the stereotypes so that ALL children get a variety of positive attention from me?
Example
FAMILIES
8. Do I treat parents and family members with respect? Do I pay attention to what they say and value their contributions to the classroom?
9. Do I take the time to learn from families about their family structures, traditions and norms? Do I stay respectful and curious, and not assume that families will respond to all situations based on their structures, traditions and norms?
Example
Instead of thinking: "Oh, Laila's family is Muslim – I already know they won't be supportive of her recent gender exploration," try: "I wonder how Laila's family thinks about her gender exploration? I know they're Muslim and I associate that with strict gender roles, but I don't know what it means in their family."
10. Am I willing to adjust my curriculum each year in response to the needs of families?
Example
11. Do I provide resources about the language I plan to use around gender at the beginning of the year, solicit feedback, and begin conversations with families who have questions, concerns, and input?
Example
12. Do I approach relationships with families as partnerships in supporting the health and growth of their children together?
Example
Infant example
13. Do I resist holding the role of “expert” in how children should or do experience gender?
Example
14. Do I remember that gender identity is just one aspect of a child, not their whole being? Do I tell families many things about their child, not focus solely on gender?
15. Do I introduce families to gender resources?
Example
"Here's contact information for a local playgroup for gender expansive children and their families. They have a family swim night every third Thursday! And here's a link to further resources including books, educational resources, virtual support groups, and advocacy organizations."
16. Do I share ongoing information about read-alouds, conversations, and conflict that emerge in the classroom around gender, including the language I use to respond?
Example
17. When conflicts arise, do I listen to family members' opinions and feelings without judgement? Do I validate these feelings and attempt to uncover underlying motivations?
Example
18. Do I talk about the strengths that come from children's gender expressions and identities rather than "problems" associated with them?
Example
"Jay's delight in wearing that purple skirt has really caught on in the classroom. Now all the children are demanding shiny fabrics to twirl around in during movement and dance time!"
19. Do I advocate for children's gender health and well-being?
Example
"Thank you for sharing your story. Now I understand why it's so important to you that Kat keeps long hair and wears dresses. You're worried Kat will experience the shame that you experienced as a child. Have you considered that for Kat, being made to wear an outfit she hates could feel shameful? When I see her putting the lion costume on each day and staying inside so that she doesn't have to change out of it, these are clues that this is deeply important to her."
20. Do I utilize the support I have (school mission, NAEYC norms) to support my professional responsibility to address gender justice with colleagues and families?
Coworkers
21. Do I instigate and encourage discussion about children's gender exploration with my coworkers?
Example
Teachers during a planning meeting: "Let's think about the ways we gender our language without even realizing it. For instance, I noticed I was defaulting to 'buddy' with boys and 'sweetie' or 'honey' with girls. Today I stopped myself and switched it up. When I saw Leah I said 'hey, buddy' and she asked me why I was calling her a boy name! We had a great discussion- she didn't even realize that 'buddy' is just another word for 'friend'!"
22. Do I work to create a classroom culture in which teachers communicate with and understand one another?
Example
"I know you're a devout Christian, and I associate that with strict gender roles, but I don't know your personal beliefs and how they interact with those of your church. Can you tell me more about where you're coming from?"
23. Do I foster continuity and consistency in the way teachers respond to children's gender exploration?
Example
24. Do I use methods of observation and documentation to reflect on children's gender exploration, taking notice of language they use to describe themselves and each other? And do I share and discuss my observations with my coworkers?
Example
Teacher with observation log: "Now that you mention it, I am looking through my notes and see that this 'sister' game started three weeks ago! And they are still playing it. And now Lucien and Emily call each other 'sister' when they are doing other things, like at lunchtime and on the yard." Other teacher, looking through his notes: "Yes! I made a note last week at circle time, that Emily said, in reference to Lucien, 'She wants to sit here today.' So this pronoun shift started about a month ago, and has really stuck."
Infant/toddler example
Teacher with observation log: “I have reviewed my observation notes from the last few weeks and I am noticing Enzo has engaged less with the toys from home (i.e. truck and ball) and is choosing baby doll and silk dress up items. Let’s continue to support Enzo's exploration process. “
25. Do I solicit feedback and support from students, parents, and colleagues on how my gender bias shows up in the classroom, recognizing that this is an ongoing process?
Example
Teacher to staff at meeting: "I'm trying to work on not automatically assuming people's gender and assigning them pronouns when I first meet them. Can you reflect it back to me when you hear me doing that?"
*Pressing ‘share with us’ means that you are giving us permission to use your examples in future versions of the audit tool, in workshops, etc. To ensure your privacy, we will obscure any identifying information you choose to share.